A death in the family

I awoke yesterday morning and before I got up I read a sms that was on my phone from Mum. It essentially said my Nanna had died overnight. Although it didn't say that as such, she assumed I already knew. I didn't. We have been expecting it for a while now - but more so over the past month or two. We're all okay. We really lost her 10 years ago when she had a big stroke. After that she just wasn't the same. The personality had been sucked from her and also her quality of life.

My Nanna has six children (my Dad is the second eldest) and I'm not sure how many grandkids there are - but there's a lot. We were all so close to Nanna so I'm thinking the funeral (to be held on Friday 24/4) is going to be a huge tear fest. Tears of sadness and tears of happiness - celebrating the life of someone who was so special to all of us.

I've never been to a funeral. Ever. So, yep, I'm rather scared. Not really sure why, I just am. Scared of saying a final goodbye? Maybe. Scared of the whole tearful procession? Yeah, that too.

Thinking about the death of a loved one also triggered a post of Craig's that I read earlier this year called 'Just another life.' He essentially was getting us to think about our own funeral. What would people say about us? What were our achievements, what were our values were, and the kind of person we were. I'm not sure there'd be too much to say about my life right now.

From what I've heard, my Nanna's funeral is turning into a big family reunion. It's hard to get everyone together when everyone is scattered all over the place: Melbourne, Central Coast NSW, Brisbane and NZ. It'll be sad saying goodbye, for sure, but I'm looking forward to spending time with my family too. Makes you appreciate the amazing opportunity we all have to live in the now and to share a part of ourselves with our family and friends.

I want to throw the floor open to anyone with thoughts on whether I should speak or not? If yes, what do I say? Or do I just stand there and cry for two minutes?